How to Save Marriage And Survive an Affair – Without Going to Counseling

 

#1 – Don’t Act on an Impulse

If you’ve just found out about his affair, resist the immediate urge to “throw him out to the curb”. Especially if you have children.

Facing the pain, taking time to gain perspective and drafting a relief plan are some of the emergency first steps to take right now.

If you’ve JUST found out about your spouse’s cheating, there are a few critical steps you have to take. See my post “Husband Cheated? Here’s What to Do Next” – Right Now.

#2 – “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” is NOT True

 

Once a cheater is NOT always a cheater. Many times an affair is a result of a serious communication breakdown.
This CAN be fixed if you have the right tools and the right kind of help.

#3 – Get Rid of the Haunting Images

Nothing will hurt your healing process more than the obsessive thoughts about him and her together and other negative thoughts taking control of you.
There are effective ways to get rid of these negative and destructive images and thoughts.
To be able to function through this crisis you have to get the negativity and obsessive images out of your way.
To learn how to do that, see my post “How Do I Deal With The Obsessive Images in My Mind?”

#4 – Learn how to Deal With Your Painful Emotions

A crazy cocktail of denial, anger, grief, disappointment and complete loss of self esteem. How can you get through another day feeling like this?
Learn effective ways to DEAL with the painful emotions right now.

Letting these painful emotions take over you and become WHO you ARE is very dangerous.
You have to open the door for the healing of yourself and (possibly) your relationship. To see how to do that see my post “How Do I Live With the Painful Emotions?”

#5 – Find Out if You Can EVER Trust Him Again

Your mind tells you that you can never trust him again (or anyone else). But your heart doesn’t want to believe it.
There are simple signs you can look for to see if you can ever trust him again.
You can find out these 5 important signs in my article – “5 Signs That You Can Start to Trust Your Cheating Spouse Again”
They will help you see where exactly you stand and clear your head immediately.

#6 – A Simple Trick to Find Out if He Still Loves You

 

How can a man that claims he loves you – And do this to you? Does he love you at all?
If this question bothers you, I can share a simple trick to help you find out if your husband still loves you.
You may find it hard to believe, but your husband’s infidelity does NOT mean that he doesn’t love you.
To find out about the “Magic Pill” question you have to ask him to find out – See my article “Cheating Man – Does Your Husband Still Love You?”

#7 – Decide if You Really Want to Know EVERYTHING

 

Every cheated woman wants to know everything about the infidelity; Where, why, how, when and who.
Sometimes discovering everything about the affair can be a very bad move.
You have to discover the possible outcome of knowing every gory detail of his infidelity, and how exactly you can deal with it – Before you ask for it.
To learn these important facts – See my article “How to Deal With the Gory Details of his Affair?

 

#8 – Do NOT Tell Your Friends and Family

 

Though it’s natural to seek help and comfort from your loved ones, telling your friends and family about his cheating can destroy the chances of your marriage to survive.
I urge you to WAIT and think twice before telling anyone that knows your spouse about what he did. That is if you still haven’t decided that your marriage is over.
First, learn why this could ruin your chances of saving your marriage and who else can you safely confide in, in my post “What NOT to Do When Your Husband Cheats”

#9 – One “Little” Book Can Save Your Marriage

The most important thing to understand is that you CAN’T survive this ALONE.
Finding the right kind of help will determine the rest of your relationship and the rest of your life.

After realizing that marriage counseling sessions are not what I want, I found a marriage help program that changed everything from that moment on.
I’ve shared my experience and my results in my post “How Dr. Gunzburg’s “Survive an Affair” Book Saved My 11 Year Marriage”

Rooting for ya,

Lisa

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