It’s the second question that agonized you since you found out about your wife’s cheating (the first was – with whom – of course):
Why?
Why did you cheat on me?
But no matter what she tells you, you don’t believe her. Why should you?
She lied about her infidelity, and she is probably lying now.
I want to try to help you with a few very probable reasons your wife was unfaithful, so you could finally move on with healing from this crisis:
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Why did my wife cheat on me?
The agonizing question follows you everywhere. It’s the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thought before you fall asleep.
And what can you do about the hurt, humiliation, rage, and jealousy?
I know how you feel. You can’t believe that your wife could do this to you. You never thought of your wife as the “cheating kind”.
After all that you’ve done for her…after giving your life to her…this is how she repays you?
Why Your Wife’s Cheating is NOT Your Fault
All you can do now is obsessively analyze, over and over again, why your wife cheated.
And that makes the pain 10 times worse.
“Is it really my fault?”
“If I only I would have paid more attention, she wouldn’t have cheated…”
“If only I had listened to my gut about that guy at her work…”
“If only I was better in bed…”?
The fact is that no marriage is perfect. No husband is perfect and no wife is either.
But if something’s wrong, you don’t solve it by cheating. No matter how bad things are, your wife has free will and could have chosen not to cheat.
So don’t blame yourself.
You’re both responsible for the state of your marriage, but her affair is NOT your fault. Period.
The Real Reasons Your Wife Cheated
According to new research, 91% of men 91% of men who get cheated on say it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever gone through.
And I’ll bet you think that if you knew the real reason your wife cheated, it will help you deal with it.
Many possible reasons for women infidelity exist: Boredom, revenge, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction, and the list goes on.
But while men usually cheat to get more sex and attention, women usually look to fill an emotional void.
1. Connection – When my best friend confided to me about her affair last year, this is what she told me:
“I was lonely. Not connected. I didn’t feel close to my husband and I was taken for granted. I wanted someone to look into my eyes and make me feel wanted and sexy again.”
It’s not just sex that makes women feel connected in a relationship. It’s the kissing, the hugging, the cuddling. Women crave it. And she may have looked elsewhere if she wasn’t getting enough of it at home.
2. Self-Esteem – Sex can be an instant self-esteem booster. For both men and women. If your wife has self-esteem issues, it won’t matter how many times a day you’ll tell her that she’s beautiful or how secure you’ll make her feel.
Her desire for outside reassurance may have taken over her.
Having sex with someone else made her feel wanted, sexy, more beautiful, and more loved.
Again, this is not your fault.
3. Exit strategy – This is only true if she decided to end the marriage and leave you for the other guy.
Instead of breaking up with you, she cheated on you. It’s the easiest way to run away from problems instead of trying to fix them.
However, if your wife regrets her affair and begs for your forgiveness and for another chance, this is not relevant to you.
My Wife Cheated But I Still Love Her – What Can I Do Now?
Most men try to be “manly” about this awful crisis.
They try to “minimize” the gut-wrenching heartache.
They try to “just get over it” – think about something else.
But that’s a recipe for disaster.
When you’re in the middle of the hell of your wife’s affair, it’s easy to feel like you’re going to be “stuck” in the grip of the hurt FOREVER.
Stuck with the obsessive images of her in the arms of someone else, keeping you up all night, every night.
Stuck with worrying that the other guy was “better” than you – even if she said he wasn’t.
But I want to tell you that hope exists. You can recover from this 100%.
If you get the right help.
If you still love your wife and desperately want to save your marriage, if you have kids and don’t want them to suffer from your wife’s actions, don’t wait until it’s too late.
There is no shame in reaching out for help.
Whatever you do, don’t wait another minute. Act now, before it’s too late.
Rooting for ya,
Lisa
my wife cheated on me and I’m the beg her to stay and she insist to go to find her happiness and peace!
Hi Lisa,
That’s a great read! It’s true that both party plays a part in such a situation. Just like me and my wife. We became distant from each other due to our busy lives. Partly why I really believe it’s my fault is because, I did not spend enough time with my wife, and that makes her feel lonely, and resort to cheating.