Only those of who have experienced living with an emotionally unavailable man can understand how painful it is not being able to get close to the one you love.
It seems that no matter what you do, he finds a way to create the distance.
Excuses, other activities, anger, criticism, anything that will keep you away from him emotionally.
It’s hard to describe how rejected, unimportant, depressed and alone it can make you feel.
Was He Always Like This?
I’ll bet you had a gut feeling about this from the beginning of your relationship. The warning signs were there, right? (for example, he wasn’t too keen about commitment and the idea of marriage), but you brushed these signs off because you were in love.
Maybe you never saw it coming, because some men give the appearance of availability and speak openly about their feelings and their past.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t wake up one day married to a man who can’t really connect emotionally and has completely shut you out (of his heart).
10 Signs That Your Husband is Emotionally Unavailable
Here’s a list of 10 red flags that may signal emotional unavailability, followed by an answer to…”Can emotionally unavailable men CHANGE”?
1. Fight or Flight
He Rises disputes for silly reasons, and he is always angry about trivial aspects of your relationship. This is an easy way to create distance and avoid the important issues in your relationship and your life together.
He gets involved in so many projects that no energy is left for you. He prefers spending time with his buddies or generally other people other than you.
He doesn’t show up for you – Whether you have a work event, or a reason to celebrate, he doesn’t show up to support you because he is emotionally closed up.
He tends to always talk about issues off the relationship, never wants to “talk about us”.
3. Overly Judgmental
He is always judgmental or too critical of your behavior, to produce humiliation and scorn.
4. No Sex Please
When a man is not interested in sex, a huge warning sign should pop up (unless he has physical or medical problems). Unfortunately this may indicate that he is cheating or planning on cheating.
Using drugs, alcohol or other addictions as barriers to intimacy
6. Angry Bird
He is always angry. He always concentrates on your “imperfections”. He may be rude to others too. He is never calm and satisfied.
7. Brick Wall
He is passive aggressive. He never responds to your anger or sadness. When trying to talk to him he is either extremely defensive or just shuts down and tunes out.
He seems to not appreciate you and doesn’t notice acts of kindness or nice gestures. You feel like a ghost in your own home. Unnoticed and unappreciated.
He is inflexible, he won’t be inconvenienced to modify his routine, and he loathes compromises. The relationship seems to revolve around him.
Trying to make a plan with him is like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. Slippery and frustrating. He always busy, tired, stresses, depressed, or broke.
He doesn’t pick up the phone at work or answer him mobile phone when you call him. He only answers your texts and doesn’t want to share what he is doing or where he is. These are big red flags.
Can an Emotionally Unavailable Man Change?
If your spouse was always like this, even before you were married, it’s going to be hard to help him change (but still – possible).
Some men are emotionally unavailable because of their childhood, their relationship with their mother or even past traumatic relationships.
If your husband has become emotionally distant over time (due to problems in your marriage), the answer is definitely YES. He CAN change.
How to Break Down His Walls
Unfortunately, in many cases these signs (especially if you find more than 3 signs) may indicate that he is seeing someone else.
If you suspect that he having an affair – See this article about what to do now.
It may seem far-fetched at this point, but you hold the key to the solution. Your personality, your actions and your words can quite easily (yes, easily!) transform him back to the loving and caring husband he used to be.
Believe it or not, you have the power to break through his emotional defenses so he wakes up to see the wonderful woman he has by his side.
What do you think? Is your spouse emotionally unavailable?
Rooting for ya,