Do you feel like the spark has gone in your marriage?
Do you miss the tiny butterflies in your stomach you used to have? The stomach ache when you missed him? The romance, hugs and kisses?
We always say that our relationship is a priority, but keeping the spark in our love life too often ends up at the bottom of our to-do list.
Between working, keeping a clean home, cooking and sometimes raising children, romance in the relationship evaporates. No hugging, no kissing, a boring and predictable sex life, and all too often – constant fighting.
Before you know it, you start fearing that your man will start to look elsewhere. Worried that he will cheat, that he already has. That your relationship is in serious danger.
The Quickest Ways to Spark Up Your Relationship
We’ve all read the same old tips and advice about ways to spark a relationship:
Schedule time for hugging, date nights, sexy lingerie, romantic homemade dinners, massages.
In other words, more work.
Really…who has time to make a gourmet romantic dinner every week? How many sexy baby dolls do I have to buy from now on? Do these things even work?
I think that the modern way of life requires a modern way to spark a relationship. Easier, faster and more effective.
Texting, my friends, is the secret key to your man’s romantic mind.
Before you laugh, think about this for a while:
Men are in love with their cell phones. Most men are absolutely addicted to their cell phone, and if you’ve tried having a conversation at the dinner table while your man is texting one of his buddies, you already know this.
Did you know?
Instead of nagging and trying to force him to pay attention to you, you can use texting to get to him focused on you no matter where he is or what he is doing.
Can you imagine how powerful that is?
How Texting Can Make Him SEE You
You don’t have to take my word for it. Maybe you’ve heard about Michael Fiore.
He’s been on the Rachael Ray show, in a bunch of newspapers and magazines and is an authority when it comes to showing you how to use texting to bring the passion and romance back – to your relationship.
So…why does it work?
Well…Here’s one of the ways it works:
Guys respond amazingly to visual stimuli. Unlike women, who are more emotionally complex, men have simple needs when it comes to emotions and romance.
If you want your man to give you the attention that you deserve, you’ve got to speak his language first. This means using VISUAL language in your text.
A Powerful Example
I’ve stolen one example from Michael Fiore’s book – “Text the Romance Back” (used with permission):
“The word “imagine” is the single most powerful word you can use when you text your man. You will use the principle of anticipation and it will make him smile and plot romantic thoughts for the rest of the day.”
Your first text is this: “I can’t stop thinking about…”
Obviously, he will reply with: “About what?” (Curiosity is sparked)
Your next text is: “All I can do is sit here and imagine what it’s going to be like when I see you again”.
Girls, I’ve tried this and it’s amazing. My husband admitted that from the moment he got my text he couldn’t think about anything else besides imagining what it’s going to be like to see me.
When he came home, I looked him in the eyes and asked him quietly: “Did you get my text?”
You can imagine what happened next. (I don’t kiss and tell…)
Advanced Texting Techniques
This example is, of course, the tip of the iceberg when it comes to using simple little text messages to drastically improve the intimacy, connection, and passion in your relationship.
Michael Fiore is an expert in this texting stuff.
Do you think it will work for you too? Do you agree with me that this is the easiest way to spark a relationship? Decide for yourself after you watch it.
Rooting for ya,
Lisa
Aphrodite's Chela says
Yeah! the texting idea is awesome. I totally get it. It sure would work for me. But how about my Isadora? I’ve texted and left notes of love and appreciation and, for the most part, gotten no response. Any ideas? I’ll check out Fiore’s work.
lisha says
What if you send him the text and he don’t reply back or even wants to see you ? Does that men its over. Please help I need answers
Lisa Penn says
It means that either he is very angry with you and punishing you, or he has decided to end the relationship and using the classic running away and not dealing with it method. What do you think?
lisha says
I think you are so right thank you.
nad says
My husband and i dont talk recently he had an inappropriate relationship over facebook where a girl tried to persue him as he said he is not married after we spoke after a week then i thought he would give that attention to me like he onced did but it seem even after that he dont seem happy thereafter i went on his facebook after he deactivated it and he was infuriated and still hasnt spoken to me it is three weeks since and he says he dont know what he want anymore when i ask him if he love me then he said i wouldnt be here if i didn,am i losing my husband is my marriage falling apart .i need help please if you can advise me as to what i can do to change things in my marriage
Lisa Penn says
Your husband has cheated on you, even if he hasn’t managed to actually do it yet. He was attempting to, but you caught him.
What makes it worse is the fact that he doesn’t seem to regret his actions. He should be apologizing and trying to regain your trust right now, not be angry at you for being rightfully suspicious of him.
I understand that you are afraid that your family is falling apart, so instead of putting a stop to this you ask him if he loves you, which seems weak and gives him all the power in this situation.
These are normal mistakes and can be fixed. Here’s my post about what to do:
http://new.how-to-save-marriage.org/how-to-keep-your-husband-from-cheating/
Beth says
Texting is a great way to offer a gentle and fun reminder to your spouse that you are thinking of him, Lisa. I like your idea about getting his curiosity going with a flirtatious first text that leads to another and another. I wrote a post not too long ago called, “The 5 Texts You Should Send Your Spouse.” It ended up skyrocketing to my top 10 of my all-time most popular posts. I hope you check it out, but it’s obvious that this is a new and exciting way to spark romance in marriage! Thanks for linking this up with Wedded Wed too, my friend! Nice to meet ya!
Lisa Penn says
Hi Beth, it’s great to meet you too and I love your blog!:) I’m definitely going to check out your post about the 5 texts!
Thanks for hosting…:)
Hannah says
My husband is just one of those phone addicts (he even works with them), although he probably wouldn’t admit it. It’s greatly helpful at times to have his smart phone around, but it doesn’t always help with the romance. We send texts to each other often (fun, playful, and flirty texts), but I never thought of sending him a text while I was trying to get his attention verbally…and failing. I’ll definitely have to try that, and use some flirty magic then too instead of getting frustrated.
Kim says
Yes, maintaining the spark after years of marriage does take work, but the effort is well worth it. I will go through stages. Sometimes I am very good about this, other times I really slip, so thanks for the resources! Thanks, too, for sharing this at NOBH.
Anny Counsel says
This has been a really wonderful post. Thank you Lisa for supplying this information.
Many thanks for sharing!