What can you do when your husband wants a divorce and you don’t?
How can you save your marriage when he wants to leave you, and you still love him?
It seems hopeless. I know.
When a wife learns that her husband “loves her but not in love” with her, she goes crazy trying to find a fix.
She talks to her best friend. She goes online and searches for “the” answer.
The one, quick answer to help you stop your divorce and reconcile your marriage.
The problem is:
Finding a solution to your marriage problems, and changing his mind about separating is not like finding a recipe for mushroom soup.
You can’t just click and get instant gratification.
Do Husbands Change Their Minds About a Divorce?
If you’re willing to do some work and be patient, chances are you’ll reap the rewards and save your marriage.
What I’m about to share is not a shortcut.
It takes time.
But I believe it’s the best way to change your husband’s mind about divorce.
It will help him realize he’s about to make a huge mistake. One that he may regret for the rest of his life.
My Husband Wants a Divorce: How Do I Change His Mind?
There are plenty of allegedly fast ways to make your husband stay and give your marriage one more try.
I’m sure you’ve thought (or even tried) some of them:
1. Begging, pleading, and threatening.
2. Telling him you love him over and over again
3. Reassuring him (“I’ve changed, I won’t do this and that anymore)
4. Making him jealous
While these methods can work, none of them last. Not in the long term.
Your husband wants to leave because he is not happy with your relationship.
If he plans to leave for another woman, it’s still because he is not happy with your marriage.
If your relationship doesn’t change, he will leave.
Maybe not today, but in a week. Or a month.
Relationships, like crops, are governed by the natural laws of the universe. If you skip a step, you’ll short-circuit the process and slow yourself down. But if you take your time and go step-by-step…that’s the fastest way.
– Mort Fertel (see my Marriage Fitness Program review)
The best way (and the only way) to stop a divorce is to change yourself.
Because you can’t change HIM. You can’t change anyone else.
You can only change yourself.
Frustrating, but true.
There is an energy that emanates from all of us. You can’t fake it. It’s a matter of who you are.
And who you are is determined by how you live. And more importantly – how (and what) you think.
The only way to save your marriage from divorce is to change yourself.
Take responsibility for your part alone.
BE the person that you would want to be married to.
Do you want him to care more? To love you more?
YOU should care more about him. Love him more.
Do you want him to appreciate you and help you?
YOU appreciate him more. Help him more.
Ignore the circumstances. Ignore the tension and uncertainty that’s going on right now.
Be who you want to be married to – consistently.
(👉 See the 5 best marriage counseling books for a troubled marriage – with my reviews)
What About Him? Doesn’t HE Have to Change?
You may be thinking “It’s not me that needs to change. It’s HIM!
HE is the one that has emotionally checked out of your marriage.
You’re probably right about what your husband needs to change.
But being right won’t get you where you want to go.
I’ve learned this golden advice from Mort Fertel:
It’s a complete waste of time and energy to focus on your spouse’s problems and faults.
There’s absolutely nothing you can do about them.
I know it’s annoying to admit this, but you had a role in the deterioration of your marriage.
There is no troubled marriage caused by one spouse alone.
Think about your past relationships. Do you see a pattern?
What about your parent’s marriage? Are you recreating what you’ve seen as a child?
You may get angry with me now, but even if your spouse had an affair, you’re somewhat responsible.
(👉 Read: how to deal with his midlife crisis affair)
It’s NOT your fault and this doesn’t excuse his behavior, but the question remains:
What was your husband seeking outside the marriage that was not available in it?
The Best Way to Use Your Chance for a Second Chance
You only get one chance for a second chance.
Don’t blow your chance on obsessing about how HE should change.
Don’t waste this opportunity on a quick fix that won’t work in the long term.
Begin, now, the real process of stopping your divorce and renewing your marriage.
Learn how to build the new building blocks for a happier, lasting marriage.
Do husbands change their minds about leaving?
Yes. They do.
But only if you know the right steps to take – starting today.
👉 This free email series is the place to start.
In it you’ll find:
- How to rebuild broken trust
- How to deal with “I’m not in love with you.”
- How to reconnect
- How to get over the past
- How to stop a divorce
- How to avoid a separation
- How to forgive and be forgiven
- 5 free Marriage Assessments
Start today. Now. Before it’s too late.
Rooting for ya,