I don’t want to sound old, but flirting used to be so easy back in the days 😉
You didn’t have to read articles about it or make any effort to flirt with your husband and keep the excitement in your marriage.
It happened naturally when you were dating.
But when you’re married for a long time, not so much.
Before we know it, romance, passion, and excitement go out the window, and flirting is reserved for anniversaries, if at all.
But flirting is critical in a healthy marriage, and an easy way to keep the spark and the romance alive, no matter how busy and exhausting your life may be.
A few (or just one) small gestures throughout the day can be gentle reminders of the passionate side of your relationship, and it doesn’t have to be hard work.
21 Cute & Naughty Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
Here are 21 cute, naughty, and romantic ways to flirt with your husband, in any situation:
1. The unexpected compliment – compliment him on something unexpected and boost his ego for the rest of the day. Tell him how you feel when he holds your hands or kisses your cheek.
By the way, the more you compliment him on certain behaviors, the more he’ll repeat them.
2. “Forget” your panties – for one evening, go commando. Wear a short skirt and while doing house chores, bend over and see if he notices.
3. Secret code phrase – a great idea from Sheila Wray Gregoire (To Love Honor and Vacuum):
Want to tell him you think he’s hot? Try a secret code phrase, like “Are we due for an oil change?” No one else will know what you really mean but him, so you can say it in front of the kids, in front of your parents, in front of anybody!
4. Hide and seek – buy a small gift or just write a little love note and hide it in your bra. When he comes home from work tell him that you have a surprise for him somewhere on your body. But be prepared to deliver later… 🙂
5. A flirty note – write a flirty note (like “I’m available and I think you’re cute!”) and have one of your kids give it to him while you’re spending time as a family together.
Another great option is to ask him to pick up your underwear in the morning. Take out your best bras and panties and ask him which ones he would like you to wear for the day.
6. Text or email him a selfie in the middle of the day – strike a pose 😉, play with your hair, wink, anything that will catch his attention. If it’s something sexy, he won’t stop thinking about it until he gets home.
7. Touch him – so obvious, yet so effective. Hop on his lap when you’re watching TV. Stroke his thighs under the table during dinner. Seize any opportunity to be physically close.
8. Flirty text messages – this is my favorite way to get the flirt on with my husband.
Texting is an easy way to get his attention (and keep it!) throughout the day, no matter where he or you are doing.
It appears (shockingly), that you can use texting for more than reminders for kids’ schedules and your fridge’s missing inventory.
Here are a few flirty texts you can use, guaranteed to heat things in seconds and make him think about you all day:
- Let’s have a naked dinner #nakeddinners
- No kids! No panties! No rules!
- If you were here right now…
I have more great flirty texts (and how, when, and where to use them)
Alternatively, you can use texting in romantic or cute ways.
Text him romantic song lyrics, a memory of fun times (last night?), or a great love quote/compliment. If you’re short on ideas, I have you covered.
👉 Find 101 more ideas for love messages for him
9. Smack his butt – when he’s walking by, smack his butt, and move on. Turn around to see his surprised face, and wink at him playfully.
10. Note on the car mirror – sneak out and leave a flirty note on his car rearview mirror saying “I’m jealous of this mirror because it’s looking at you.”
11. Dance in the kitchen – turn on your favorite song on your phone or tablet and dance in the kitchen when he least expects it.
12. Sexy picture – take a sexy (yet subtle) picture of yourself and send it to your husband. You can send it to him even if he’s sitting next to and watching TV for an extra laugh.
Warning: No naked or semi-naked pictures. That can go wrong in so many ways. 😜
13. A pillow fight – a pillow fight is not reserved for children. And it’s a great way to make a move on your husband. Just toss him a few pillows and start swinging. A great fun-before-bed activity.
14. Water gun in the shower – while your hubby’s in the shower, sneak in quietly and squirt him with a water gun. He will probably pull you in there with him.
15. Car flirting – tease him a little when he’s driving (nothing dangerous though). Slide your hand on his thigh, take his hand, and put it on your thigh, anything that the kids won’t notice will be fun.
16. Wear red – scientists have shown that guys are instinctively attracted to this color.
17. Peep show at morning rush – in the middle of the morning rush, flash him full on. This unexpected flirt will make him feel like the luckiest man on the planet and keep his mind on you all day.
18. Let him pick your clothes – before date night, step out of the shower in your towel and let him pick what you’ll wear – skirt, shoes, top, panties, lipstick, perfume, everything.
His choices will probably surprise you. A great reminder that you don’t really know everything about each other.
19. Sexy book club – pull a copy of the Kama Sutra out of your bag and ask him if he is interested in joining your book club.
20. Rub your legs under the table at dinner or in a restaurant – this cliche always works. That’s why you can still see it in any romantic movie. When you do it he’ll immediately notice it and look into your eyes. Lower your head down and break into a flirty smile.
21. Close the door when you dress up for date night – make him notice that you are closing the bedroom door and insist that it stays closed while you get ready for date night.
When you come out you’ll look amazing, obviously, and this little mystery will remind both of you of the time you were dating (with butterflies in your stomach) and in love.
Flirty (Naughty) Things to Say to Your Husband
Since we’re not all poets and writers, it’s hard to find flirty things to say to your husband (over text, email, or just in person). So, here are a few great examples you can tweak and make your own:
- “I have a surprise for you later 😉”
- “I’ve got your behind on my mind”
- “Looking good, baby”
- “Trying to figure out why your hands are so sexy”
- “I have been thinking about you a lot today. I’d like to discuss it in the bedroom. tonight. naked.”
- “Baby, I have the “so hot for you syndrome”. Can you help me out?”
- “I love your tie. Can you take off everything else?”
- “Here are the wife rules for tonight: no kids, no panties.”
Flirting shouldn’t be retired once you’ve got the ring. It brings back the spark, the romance, and the excitement to your marriage and makes both of you feel wanted.
You can easily re-ignite the flame with an ongoing series of sparks like the 18 ideas mentioned above.
You’ll be surprised how these small and simple ideas can make such a huge difference.
Most importantly – have fun.
What about you? What’s your favorite way to flirt with your spouse? Come on, teach me something new 🙂
Rooting for ya,
Monikka M Townsend says
I guess you could implement this but this list seems to heavily fall on the responsibility of the female who is always carrying her weight and more and the emotional labor in the relationship these days already. It’s more pronounced when kids are in the mix. So what? He just sits back and reaps the spontaneous rewards. Where’s the reciprocation? What is he doing to turn his wife, girlfriend, or significant other on? What weight is he pulling? What emotional labor is he carrying to keep the relationship or marriage alive? It’s a two-way street. Why is it always the females’ responsibility to re-spark and continue the flame of the relationship? When the Females run out of fuel and matches how come the male isn’t there to share his stash so the female in the relationship doesn’t get burned out or run out in the first place? Humans are emotional creatures and whether a male was raised and taught at a young age to not show his emotions or not he still is human and emotions will show in one way or another. Therefore if he has a hard time showing an emotional side he has a hard time being human. That isn’t healthy for a relationship or marriage. He needs to change that way of thinking so he can step up to the plate and share the weight of emotional labor in a relationship. Two breadwinners in the household and relationship are better than one. An independent woman is becoming the norm by the decade. Standards and self-worth is being discovered by the women who take time to do soul searching and are kept sacred. Though this list gives fun ways to initiate intimacy and sexual playfulness in a relationship make sure there’s reciprocation and creativeness on your partner’s or husband’s end before you do more than 3 things on this list. Know when the relationship or marriage is dead. Know when to call it quits and move on. Make sure his effort matches yours. His effort to take what you give matches his effort to give as you take. Not a competition just reciprocation. Simple as that. Ladies don’t break your back for someone who won’t beak theirs for you to keep a relationship alive. You will run yourself dry. Love yourself enough to keep yourself full so you are not empty after putting in all that effort, time, and energy. Also, males need to get over this emotional taboo or stigma nonsense and pull their weight in the relationship. That’s what man does who is secure. A boy tries to hide emotion and build a tough exterior that is always prone to collapsing because it’s built on weak unrealistic notions. Maybe past hurt or past baggage. Nonetheless, if males can’t show emotion then you can’t be in a good relationship. Ladies, you’re wasting your time on this kind of male.
Lauren Pierce says
I totally understand the pressure and weight of the woman! I used to feel this way too, but I have noticed my husband reciprocates and more!!! even does better with his honey-do list when I have participated in the flirtation experiment. And to be fair- the article is called “….to flirt with your husband”
You need to focus on being the best you can and doing the best you can without looking for a reward. A good man will also find his way of multiplying that back to you and it may not be the same way. A woman must know her own limits and it’s not a standard three. When she is aware she has done more than enough and what she recieves back is not worth it, she can peacefully and joyfully leave, knowing she did the best, was her best and continue being her best somewhere else. Not everyone will appreciate the best apple pie because they don’t like apples that much. Doesn’t mean the baker should stop baking apple pie in the best way or reduce the quality. Ladies, be your best self for everyone, it’s not a burden, it’s a gift, not only to others but to yourself too.
Just found this thread because I’m obviously in a rut here. Loved the advice! Now I have some tricks up my sleeve. Thanks’
Stacy Brown says
Thank you so much for the article! Seriously great advice, I have been married for 15 years to my high school sweetheart well we went to different colleges but reunited. I love all of your tips and I think I’ve tried almost all of them except for the naked dinner thing because we have four kids and really don’t have a babysitter under quarantine. Lol! On top of doing all those things that make you feel like you’re trying so hard for someone, Your husband do you understand how much you love them, The tip of the iceberg is communication. You have to sail the same ship, Side by side, And really understand each other’s differences and respect them. Everyone’s different, Even after the giddy phase…. You can wake up and think that you are in Timbuktu. I have been with Kyle for 17 years and this past year has been the hardest trial of my life. We separated for four months having four kids dealt with anger gambling infidelity lying about bills, And that was me I lied about the bills to try and make sure he kept his A game on…. And felt like the wolf on Wall Street. As a wife that’s kind of what you do we try to blow smoke up there butt, when really you feel sad and completely taken for granted. I mean you haven’t lived until you took four kids to the dentist at the same time to get their teeth cleaned braces tightened and fix a couple cavities, That’s living it up. Empowering yes, But mentally draining and exhausting. He is my best friend and we became enemies in our own home because we didn’t communicate. I love your comment about naked is your favorite outfit because that’s totally him! No reason to overdo it just appreciate each other and treat them like it’s the last day that you’re going to see them that’s all anyone wants is to be appreciated! I am awake before everyone this morning and I feel like such a nerd trying to think of how to flirt with my husband in a new way…. We have that crazy kind of notebook love well maybe like 202O notebook. If you go a couple days without talking to someone and really reflect on what you did in the first place or didn’t do or how you responded to a situation or body language it’s crazy how it makes you nuts wondering why you behaved a certain way or why you felt that they didn’t Appreciate you enough, I was told once that when you walk in the door no matter what kind of mood you’re in you need to be crazy nice because that first 10 minutes sets the entire mood for your entire family and girl it’s so true! If somebody comes home from work in a bad mood man all of a sudden dinner is not fun everybody’s grumpy attitudes are contagious. We just have to do what’s right and respect each other and I love you for this blog I am going to be super flirty today and thankful that my marriage is thriving! Do you know why because I wasn’t raised to give up, And everything worth it in life doesn’t just come easy. And it all started with me really, I had to realize we were nothing like. I’m a Libra, He’s a Taurus we share the same moon sign but we are total opposites but I had to learn to respect the balance, Anyway your new name is Dr. Phil! Thank you so much for the incredible pointers! I hope to chat sometime. ❤️
Lisa Penn says
Stacey, thanks so much for your feedback and sharing your life with us…I really appreciate it. Thrilled to heat that your marriage is thriving! all the best to you and your family
thought this was neat.. ive been married for 17 years with 4 kids..no babysitter, just got braces on my oldest last week, and cleaning and fillings on the middle two, I am also a libra…how crazy
Love Shifu says
Wow, that’s a great post with excellent example of text messages. Flirty messages are very important to add spice in a relationship and also to make bond stronger between couples. Men like it when women try to be flirty with them. Even though most men don’t show it, such flirty texts from their loved ones will make them smile and he will instantly start missing you.
sophie Dadar says
I have tried so of those tips and it works… thanks