Here’s my list of posts on this marriage-tragedy, to help you get started with healing – As fast as humanly possible:
40+ Quotes about Cheating Husbands (to Help You Cope with Cheating)
My Husband Left me for Another Woman – Can I Get Him Back?
7 Unmistakable Signs That Your Husband will Cheat AGAIN (Is he a Serial Cheater?)
How to Restore the Trust After He Cheated (The Post Affair Agreement)
How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis Affair
How to Keep Your Husband From Cheating – In 3 Simple Steps (#3 Is the Easiest)
Signs Your Husband is Cheating (and How to Make Him STOP)
How to Cope With (and Overcome) Your husband’s Emotional Affair
Why Men Have Affairs (And Why Did Yours?)
How to Deal With the Gory Details? (of the Affair)
How Do I Live With the Painful Emotions?
Planning to Confront a Cheater? Not Before You Learn these RULES
5 Signs That Regaining Trust is Possible
Hey! Where is all the help when you are the husband, and it is your wife who had the affair? How do I deal with HER affair?
Eric, here’s a post that may help you: https://how-to-save-marriage.org/why-did-my-wife-cheat-on-me/
Just found out my husband was having an affair for close to a year now. How naive was I when the girl he was having an affair with was a friend of mine and an employee of his. I read on one of his emails that he will always love her but he told me that it was a different type of love and the affair wasn’t even for the sex it was more for the emotional support that she gave him. I told him that he needed to get rid of his employee in order for me to even start a healing process because he crushed me. We have been married for 21 years and it feels like my world has been turned upside down. Do I have the right to ask him to get rid of his employee. We are an “at will employment” state.
Eleanor,
I don’t think it’s a question of “right”, but I do believe that it’ll be very hard for you to start the healing process and regaining the trust if this girl stays at work. I think anyone would agree.
I think he knows it’s the right thing to do too. But just be aware that even when he does this, you won’t really feel better until you start communicating about this in an honest way, and understanding why this happened in your relationship and how it can be prevented in the future.
Hang in there, everything will be alright.
I started dating this guy who said he was married but seperated. He begged me for a serious relationship when I only showed interest of a just a fling (sex only) thing. He made me fall inlove with the way he showed he cared about me. He went beyond limits to make me happy and smile until I fell head over heels for him. The only problem was that I found out he was hiding me. He slept with his ex twice while with me. He was recently seperated and he was scared that his ex would not allow him to see his daughter. That this was the reason why he somewhat was still seeing her. He swear he loves me truely. He said he handt felt this way sincebhe was 19, and now that he felt this with me at the age of 30 he wanted to be with me so bad. I want to forgive him. I believe I can forgive him.
Angie,
I think that deep down inside you have a little voice that tells you whether you should give him another chance or not, and whether he is telling the truth or not.
Forgiveness is a must, not for him but for you of course, but whether he’ll do it again in the future, only your little inner voice can tell you. Listen to it.
Good luck!
My husband and I have been together for 9 years and he has cheated before we were married when we were still in high school but I just recently came across text messages between him and another girl that he sees on a daily basis anywhere from 2-4 times a day. He got out of work early Christmas Eve went to the store and then went out to the gas station where she works because he bought her a present (he claims it was just candy) he then was texting her all day on Christmas and I feel in my gut that something is going on but he claims nothing has happened and nothing will ever happen. I am having a very had time believing him and letting go of this. but every time I bring it up he gets pissed off and just keeps saying nothing has or will ever happen. I am so lost and confused.
Ashley,
Unfortinately, I think your intuition is right.
There’s probably something going on with them, though not necessarily physically.
Here’s a post that I think can help you:
https://how-to-save-marriage.org/husband-emotional-affair/
I would really love to read a post about why men (or just my man) brag or tell their friends about the cheating. My personal experience has left me more embarrassed that he told his friends with no regard or respect for me. But not in a bragging way, more like it was just no big deal. We have been together 7 years and with no marriage or kids. PLEASE HELP! Xx
Sam,
I’m really sorry you are going through this. I think he told his friends because that’s what we do with our friends…confide in them.
How do you know that he said it like it wasn’t a big deal? Were you there?
Anyway, I think that this is probably not be your main focus right now… I think you should focus on healing from this heart breaking experience, and decide if your relationship is worth saving or not.
I hope you’ll see better days soon.